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I’d be lying if I wasn’t saying that impostor syndrome is something I am dealing with at the moment.
Next week I will start classes at the University of Virginia Darden School of Business. Depending on what rankings you use, Darden is ranked as high as #5 for full-time MBA programs.
This isn’t to brag. It’s because I often feel like an impostor.
Honestly, this was never a path I saw myself going down. No one in my family has an MBA. We have lots of schooling, but we are mostly teachers, accountants, or engineers. I say that because a lot of my classmates come from families where getting a top MBA is the norm.
I’m also not the “typical” military MBA candidate. I have one friend from my ROTC program who went to a top MBA program. But I compare that to friends who went to a service academy and it seems like everyone they know is going to a top MBA or JD program. My college GPA was nothing spectacular and I studied my ass off for the GRE, but my scores were still in the average range.
(To start learning about applying to MBA programs as a military applicant, start here)
My classmates worked at places like Goldman Sachs, Apple, or Mckinsey. They are extremely accomplished and smart as hell.
What am I, just some dude who did some stuff in the army, doing here?
What is impostor syndrome?
Impostor syndrome is the feeling that you aren’t good enough for where you are. That your skills and attributes are not equivalent to your school, your job, or even the people you hang around with.
It’s doubt and desire that “someone is going to find out who I really am and when they do they will realize how much of a fraud I am and how unqualified I am for this.”
This is the feeling of going somewhere or talking to someone or doing something and feeling like you don’t belong.
For veterans in their life after the military, impostor syndrome can be real and it can be debilitating. Military careers are rather lock-step. The path is well-defined and so new positions or promotions usually feel natural. Even in entering elite units, where the assessment and selection process can be extremely intense, you know that everyone else went through the same process. It helps in the feeling of belonging for those who make it through the crucible.
But post-military life can have a lot more room for growth. You may find more opportunities to jump past your perceived station and enter into something you never would have expected.
And that’s when impostor syndrome can sink in.
So how do you fight it?
1. If you are there- someone wants you.
You may be shocked that you got into that great school or landed that job. And in starting, you may feel vastly underqualified next to the people working around you.
This can be especially true if you only recently transitioned from the military. You may have this feeling “I don’t really know what I am doing here, just a year ago I was running convoys in Afghanistan-what do I know about analyzing wheat futures?”
Classis impostor syndrome.
But remember this: if you are there, whether it be a job, a school, or even a relationship, it’s because someone wants you there.
That employer saw something in you and thought:
“Yes, this veteran may be rough around the edges, but they have some attributes we want on our team. We can teach the hard skills.”
Your school looked at your application and said:
“We know that this candidate may not be top of the class in accounting or finance, but we value the perspectives that veterans bring to our classroom and want them in here.”
Or a friend or partner may be thinking,
“This person balances me out in a way I need and so I value this relationship.”
2. Know that others may also have impostor syndrome
I remember my first battalion commander telling me about going through Ranger School. He said he would always look around and find someone who was clearly in misery and think “well, at least I’m not that guy.”
Your feelings and emotions are relative to those around you. Quite possibly, there are others around you who are also fighting impostor syndrome.
Most likely you are not the only one.
In meeting my other classmates, this topic has come up more than once. None of us quite feel like we are meant to be here and that somehow we got in by a mistake. And talking about it made us all feel better.
3. Be willing to admit your shortcomings
Especially when trying to battle impostor syndrome, it can be greatly intimidating to admit that you don’t know something or that you need help. Then it can really feel like you are admitting you don’t belong and that everyone will find out you don’t know what you are doing.
But on the contrary, being willing to be vulnerable and admit you aren’t perfect can show others that you are willing to learn. It can show them that you want to contribute, and for that, they will value your effort.
4. Be ok with failure and imperfection
Humans screw up. We do it all the time. You can’t expect yourself to be perfect.
When fighting impostor syndrome, you may double-down on yourself when you make a mistake or lapse of judgment. It’s ok to not be perfect.
Recognize what you did, work to improve, and seek feedback.
5. Find a mentor
You may look at one of the great veteran mentorship organizations like ACP or Veterati (learn more about them here), or you can look within your organization.
In working with a mentor, be open with them about your feelings of impostor syndrome and why you feel that way. They can probably shed some light on why you are where you are. Or they can even share their own feleings of being an impostor and normalize the emotions for you.
A good mentor may also be able to provide you feedback on your performance, even if they aren’t directly in your reporting channel. They may be able to help you understand where you need to improve in your work so that you can feel more natural where you are.
Keep a healthy dose of impostor syndrome
Seeking mentorship, being ok with imperfection, seeking feedback: these are all healthy attributes for anyone who wants to succeed.
Keeping a healthy dose of impostor syndrome can prevent you from feeling comfortable and getting complacent. It can keep you focused and working hard.
Stay hungry.
Related:
Advice for veterans: No one Owes You Shit.