Estimated reading time: 10 minutes
Before you get out of the military, you first have to BE in the military. Why does someone raise their right hand and join the armed forces? Why does someone knowingly subject themselves to hardship, danger, and uncertainty like that?
It’s easy to be cynical and point out the obvious benefits like the GI Bill or gaining leadership experience . But I think we all know that there is far more to it than that.
Since starting this website and podcast, I’ve had conversations with dozens of veterans. The question often gets asked, “Why did you join?”
Basically every answer I hear is some variation of “I just wanted to serve.”
Especially for those who joined after 9/11, it’s hard to ignore the call we all felt when those planes hit. Many Americans felt that call and knew that they just had to go.
I personally felt the urge in 2006, as the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan raged. I felt that I had no excuse to remove myself from military service. And so I started the path like many others.
I’m sure there is a small percentage of people out there who joined the military just for a steady paycheck or the GI Bill. But, overwhelmingly we all know that these are the exceptions and not the rule. We all know that the men and women to our left and right answered the call for a noble reason- to serve.
The call to serve and getting out of the military
Many of those who are contemplating getting out of the military express concerns about finding meaning and purpose after taking off the uniform. They fear that they will never again be able to feel like they are serving a greater purpose if they are no longer in the military.
My first piece of advice is to reckon with the fact that one day, you WILL leave the military. Even if you go a whole career, the time will come to retire and you will have to leave. And for most retirees, this is at only about the halfway point of their life. There is still a lot of life for them to define.
The point here is that you will eventually have to reckon with this question of what your life will be like after uniform. Whether it’s after your first enlistment or after 30 years, you WILL have to think about it.
I will NEVER encourage anyone to leave the military if they are still enjoying their service. Unfortunately, I think a lot of service members know deep inside that they are no longer happy staying in uniform. I think that in part, the fear of having to create their own definition of meaningful life outside the military prevents them from making the leap.
If fear of the outside is keeping you in the military, then you are doing all those around you a disservice. You and your family will be impacted, and so will those you work with and lead. If you are not bringing your best self to them, then it is doubtful you will be an effective leader.
Embrace the fear and uncertainty
What is the fear I am directly talking about?
It’s the fear of never finding purpose and meaning. And the fear of having to figure it out yourself.
Then, let’s be real, there’s the fear of basic stuff like healthcare, housing, and finding your next career. These are all things that you can’t just blow off.
But I always tell people feeling anxious about this part — everyone else in America makes it work (mostly).
Someone still in thinking about getting out may say or think something like:
“But how will I have enough money for retirement??!”
“What will I do for healthcare?”
“Where will I decide to live?”
Spoiler alert: Millions of other Americans figure this out every day and so can you.
The uniform is not your identity
I always joked with my family that the military wasn’t a job, it was a lifestyle choice.
It’s easy to let yourself think that your time in uniform is everything and that your “identity” is soldier/sailor/airman/marine.
It’s not.
Maybe it’s being a caregiver for your family. I could be leading people. Maybe it is serving your country, but that doesn’t mean it HAS to be in uniform.
You have an identity that arcs before, through, and past your time in the military. While military service is a unique and often defining, experience, it doesn’t have to define you as a person.
How you can keep serving
The United States military does not hold a monopoly on service to the Nation. Times like 9/11 demonstrate the importance of our first responders and the COVID-19 pandemic showed us how important our healthcare workers can be.
I use these generational events to show how perception can change. The military is seemingly always there, firmly integrated into the US system. It’s easy to keep this idea of service in our minds as the images of service are more readily available. But catastrophes show us that others are working hard every day to keep the American way of life going.
Be leaders in the private sector
There can be a sentiment in the military that sounds something like the following:
“Man, I don’t want to be out and be just another corporate shill. That’s not important- there’s no meaning in that.
Look, I’m going the MBA route, so clearly I’m going to have a take on this.
When I knew I was ready to get out, a close family member was trying to convince me to stay. They argued that I had been doing well in my career and that soldiers still needed good leadership.
Agreed- our service members need the best leadership we can provide them.
I had to have a hard conversation with myself and realize that my heart was calling me elsewhere and I was no longer being the best leader in the military I could be. It was a tough pill to swallow, but I’m glad I did. Because if I wasn’t a good leader, that was a sign to leave.
But here’s the thing-everyone needs good leadership.
When you hear the stories of companies going bankrupt and execs collecting payouts in the millions while thousands of people lose their jobs- that’s bad leadership.
Or nonprofits allocating disproportionate amounts of their funding toward administrative fees and executive compensation- that’s often poor leadership.
I’m not trying to say, “Well, if you put a veteran into these situations all is solved!”
But I am saying that having leaders in the private sector who understand how bringing values to an organization can benefit everyone is good for society. And veterans are well-positioned to lead like that.
The economy needs the private sector
Sounds freaking obvious, right?
Here’s my point:
Business in America creates revenue. Revenue hires people and provides them with benefits. It also gets taxed and helps fund the government, including the military.
Simple as that.
Continue serving in the Guard or Reserve
There are a lot of great reasons to think about continuing to serve in the National Guard or Reserves. Not the least of which is continuing to serve the Nation after getting out of military active duty:
- Continued access to healthcare at great prices
- An additional source of income
- Keeping a “foot in the door” for coming back into active duty or pursuing options to serve on full-time status in the National Guard or Reserve
If you want to keep serving in the military, but think that continuing on active duty may not be best for you and your family, choosing to go into the National Guard or Reserves is a good compromise. There can be a lot of options here as well . You might be surprised by the flexibility and career options you can find in the National Guard or Reserves.
To get my thoughts I why I personally did NOT join the National Guard or Reserves, check out this post here.
Continued government service
There are LOTS of options to keep serving in government after the military. And for the federal government, you get a hiring bonus as a veteran. But there are also options at the state and local levels for you to continue to serve your community.
To learn about heading to local government and then the State Department, read more about this former army armor officer’s journey.
Go work in healthcare
I use healthcare as an example here of an industry where the purpose and mission are maybe a bit easier to grasp and understand. There is a more clear sense of purpose in healthcare that might be something easier for you to relate to as a veteran.
Healthcare=good
Providing healthcare=good
Even if you didn’t work as a medical professional in the military, there are options abound in the medical field. Yes — there are the obvious choices of working a direct healthcare provider, but there lots of administrative and business roles as well.
On one of my deployments, I worked closely with a National Guard unit, in particular with one of their field grade officers. His civilian job was in the medical device industry — his company was a major manufacturer of devices mostly meant for patients with heart conditions.
In one of our talks, he spoke about how last year at a company event, they brought in a series of people who used their devices. And not just used — these devices saved their lives. He told me these people came to tears thanking his company for the work they did.
All this is to say that there are private sector industries where you can find a way to contribute back in meaningful and impactful ways.
To learn more about heading to a life in medicine after the military, check out this article with a former infantryman turned medical student or this one with another grunt who came back in as an army veterinarian. Lastly, if you have any interest in dentistry, another former infantryman (there’s a lot of us) runs this site about going into dentistry as a veteran.
Veteran organizations
Your career itself may not be the thing that gives you that sense of giving back that you seek. That’s ok — there are other ways to do something meaningful.
There are lots of organizations out there, but these are some of the best and they also can provide an avenue for long-term sense of purpose through service, not a one-off thing.
Mentor- If you already got out of the military, you could consider working with a group like American Corporate Partners or Veterati (article on their comparison here). Both of these organizations pair transitioning service members with a mentor and this can be a good way to help a fellow veteran in their own process.
Bunker Labs- I try and talk a lot about veteran entrepreneurship, something I think is really important to consider, and Bunker Labs is a great place to start. And, honestly, even if you aren’t super interested in entrepreneurship, there is a great community at Bunker Labs. I’ve been to a number of their events, and often find a good amount of veterans there who aren’t necessarily working on a startup or something, but just want to be around other veterans working to build something.
The sense of purpose here can come through helping veteran entrepreneurs through their ideas. It’s also likely you may find an aspiring veteran entrepreneur who is working on a project with a lot of meaning that you can get behind. One former marine I connected with through Bunker Labs was developing an app to assist those struggling with mental health issues through cognitive behavioral therapy. That’s a powerful mission.
Plus, they usually have free beer and snacks.
Team Rubicon- Team Rubicon is directly meant to address this feeling that a lot of veterans have, that loss of purpose. They send teams, mostly of veterans but also lots of civilians who just like what they are about, to areas experiencing disaster and catastrophe to lend a helping hand. To learn more about them, check Episode 04 of the podcast (less than 10 minute episode).
Team Red, White, and Blue- Team RWB hosts an array of events. They may be doing something fitness-related or completing a service project in a local community. They are well-organized and have a passionate following with the veterans who participate.
These are just a sampling of some of the communities you may find that can help you regain that sense of camaraderie, but also give you a purpose you can get behind.
Conclusion
One day you will no longer be in uniform. That is just the truth. So if you are worrying about getting out of the military because you fear finding that sense of mission and purpose again in your life, know that the day is coming. No matter what you do, that day will come. You will not be able to avoid confronting how to live with that.
If you think that getting out of the military may be the right call for you, but you are worried about finding purpose, don’t let that hold you back. Better to deal with that now, rather than years later after secretly harboring these feelings and never confronting them.
Be open and honest with yourself about who you are and what you want.
Related:
The hardest decision I’ve ever made